This has nothing to do with writing but it’s about the inventor of the waterbed so that makes it awesome

 It’s the man who invented the waterbed! I thought he was made up, like Santa Claus. Turns out he’s real!

How to tell if you are in a high fantasy novel

Chris Brecheen posted this on his Facebook page, Writing about Writing, and never have truer words been typed. The original post by Mallory Ortberg is here, over at The Toast.

And now, without further delay... Here’s Mallory’s timeless advice on how you tell if you are in a high fantasy novel.

• The Elders would like a word with you.
• The Ritual is about to begin.
• Something that has not happened in a thousand years is happening.
• You are going to the City. There is only one City. It is only said with a capital C. No one needs to bother saying the name of the City. It is the City.
• Certain members of the Council are displeased with your family’s recent actions.
• A bard is providing occasional comic relief; no one hired or invited him and his method of earning a living is unclear.
• The High Priest is not to be trusted.
• Someone is eating an apple mockingly.
• There is one body of water. It is called the Sea. The Great Sea, if you are feeling fancy.
• You live in a region with no major exports, no centralized government, no banking system, a mysteriously maintained network of roads, and little to no job training for anyone who is not a farmer.
• You have red hair. You wear it in a braid. Your father was a simple man, and you don’t remember much about him – he died when you were so young – but you remember his strong hands, as he fished or carpentered or whatever it was that he used to do with them.
• You’re going to have to hurry, or you’re going to miss the Fair– and you never miss the Fair.
• There is trouble at the Citadel.
• Your full name has at least one apostrophe in it.
• It is the first page, and you are already late for something.
• Your mother affectionately chides you as you gulp down a few spoonfuls of porridge; she will be dead by page forty-two.
• There are two religions in your entire universe. One is a thinly veiled version of Islam. It is only practiced by villains. The other is “being a Viking.” You are a Viking.
• There are new ways in the land that threaten the Old Way.
• Your grandmother secretly practices the Old Way, as do all of the people of the hills.
• The real trouble began the day you arrived at court. Every last nobleman hides a viper in his smile. How you long for the purity of life in your village, which is currently on fire or something.

Turning Google into a Dictionary and Thesaurus

I’m not sure how many of you out there know about this trick but if you don’t... Yes, you can use Google as your dictionary and thesaurus.

First off, using it as a dictionary. Enter the search term: “meaning [word]” and Google returns a dictionary definition of the word. In  this example, I typed in the search phrase: “meaning writer”.
Apart from giving the definitions, it also pronounces the word (just click on the speaker icon).

You can expand the result by clicking on the gray arrow. This lists additional information about the word.

You can also use Google as a thesaurus. Type in the search phrase, “synonym [word]” and you guessed it–Google returns a list of synonyms for your word. In this example, I typed the phrase: “synonym writing”.

As with asking Google to return the meaning of a word, you can expand the result to view the origin, use of the word over time and a translation.

If you type in the search phrase “antonym [word]”, Google returns your word with a list of opposite meanings. In this example, I typed the phrase: “antonym fast”.

If you haven’t used this Google feature before, give it a try, because it’s going to save you time and angst if you need a quick reference while you’re writing.

Dan Harmon raps about writing and drawing cartoons

One of the funniest things I’ve found on the Interwebs this year. Dan Harmon raps about Rick and Morty’s third season at a Harmontown session. (Wipes tears of laughter from eyes.)

Inspirational writing advice from Charlie Kaufman

Charlie Kaufman gave a lecture back in 2011 emphasizing that the priority of a writer is writing first, and marketing second. Unfortunately these days it’s all about marketing first, and writing second. In a world drowning in self published books, we’re forced into marketing and branding in the vain hope of building an audience. Indie authors know only too well the pain of being told that apart from delivering a novel (a Herculean task), we need to worry about social media platforms, growing a mailing list, maintaining blogs, and targeting the correct audience with the correct genre. Only then will we make boatloads of cash and be able to quit our day jobs. Oh, and if you’re a published author, congratulations, but you’ll still have to market your book because the publisher won’t do it for you.

It’s a peculiar aspect of our time when an author is forced to have a secondary career as a marketing expert.

Mr. Orwell

“Mr. Orwell must have wasted a lot of energy trying to be a novelist. I think I must have read three or four novels by him and the only impression these dreary books left on me was that nature didn’t intend him to be a novelist.”

Q.D. Leavis, 1940

Actual time management advice that seems more helpful. Introducing: Instant Gratification Monkey and The Panic Monster

There are lots of time management videos and articles out there. I should know, I’ve probably read all of them while I avoided doing actual work. They are also vaguely sanctimonious and tell you that if you really valued your time, you’d find a way to do that stuff that’s important to you. Loser.

Tim Urban’s video about the horrors of long term procrastination is far more relevant, more forgiving, and funnier. Tim’s blog, ‘Wait But Why’ is here for anyone wanting to read more.\

Meditation on success type things

 Mari Andrew, writer and illustrator, sums up her feelings about success, with a successful illustration.

http://bymariandrew.com/writing